The Amazon Queen

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In search of the Golden Fleece, Jason and the Argonauts landed on an island without men. On the shore, on the dock, in the streets, a crowd gathers, and among these people, none man, young or old. Only women. Girls galore. Stupor of the Argonauts. Jason did not react. HerculesLatin name of Heracles neither.

Do not forget that these facts are sung by a Greek poet -Apollonius of Rhodes- who lived ten thousand years after. What does he know? Only the outlines. He invented details relying on his muse, ie according to his time reality. He speaks about vessel and island. Obviously Apollonius is inspired by the Odyssey, which is only a joke, but he ignores the fact.

His poem creates the myth. Our turn today to discuss the poem, to restore the myth in truth and enjoy without moderation. I leave Heracles the care to tell us the grounds of the story.

“Before the start, even before the construction of the stratospheric cruiser Argos, the Great Goddess Hera appeared to me. My name is Glory of Hera, I’m never his faithful servant. This is what she had to say :

Hercules,Latin name of Heracles noble warrior, my faithful vassal, the time comes for us women to leave power. For millennia, this world has been ruled by women, only women being citizens, while men were at their service and at their feet.

We ruled this planet with an iron fist and a velvet skin. Our orders were your own desires; to please us, your only ambition. But now, you men have to get out of your addiction to women. You Hercules are part of my plan -hero born for my glory. Only a male hero can lead the way to fearful little men.

 

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The world has seen the great Ram -the Greeks call Dionysus- and that the Brahmins call Prince Charming. He came to restore harmony between men and women. He died without lasting success. His historical role was to soften our manners for you to strengthen yours. A handover. Your turn has come, I have to clear me for your kingdom to come.

But the royal cruiser of Rama, the Golden Fleece, must return in triumph the Titan Prometheus, released by you. Do not think my blank check is enough. You will meet on your way an implacable enemy, HippolyteAnd not Hypsipyle as Apollonius of Rhodes says queen of the Amazons. She alone knows the hiding place of the Golden Fleece. It is imperative you reconcile. Useless to try to jump over her kingdom, all the Scythian plains are under her control, and all the warlike clans of the Urals are her vassals.

If your cruiser Argos can easily fly over the lines without stopping, you will not access the Golden Fleece if the Queen does not allow it. Remember how an alliance with Hyppolyte is crucial in this labour. Never forget it.”

 

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The Secret Of No-Man’s-Island

Such were her holy words, deep engraved in my heart. I told Jason this necessary step. He who had planned a nonstop flight to the Urals, willingly changed his mind. Argos cruiser therefore will land to the Amazon Queen. But we will not throw us into the jaws of the wolves without guarantee of success. We agreed to a simple strategy, but unstoppable.

When our Argos cruiser moved closer to the earth’s surface, the Amazons were surprised by a series of firebombs. Argos has a battery of weapons as varied as drastic. There is whole range called the arsenal of the Gods, delivered to the expert hands of the twins Castor and Pollux.

In a minute, the spaceport of Queen Hippolyte in ashes; in one minute, the general store, the industrial center and telecom center are only smoking ruins. Three minutes were enough to reduce to impotence the Queen and all her Amazons. They are our thank you, they flock in crowds on our feet, and our vigorous Argonauts are happy to give all these bitches in heat.

To erect the Amazons to kill the male, they are nonetheless of females lack. On taut buttocks, breasts darted, vengeful yards, barley wine flowing, mouth-what do you want, and the rest. The orgy is so fierce that I fear for the health of men under these ghouls without number. Overcome by arms to be defeated by love? No way ! With Orpheus and others, I have not participated in these feasts. You should know because keep in the storm.

All night I have watched over Argos whose surroundings were secured by three gunners warriors, while Orpheus and Iphiclus helped the Argonauts to retrieve clusters of wolves. None of us is his punches. These harpies cohort call the hard way.

 

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In the morning, all men have regained the edge. Around noon, Hippolyte arises. She just give Jason the key to the city with that of his heart. He refused both net. His fate is called elsewhere. In these harsh words, the queen threw herself at his feet. She begs her conqueror to spare the Amazons and not to turn his province into bloodshed. Jason will do nothing if Hippolyte help find the Golden Fleece. (Source)Hercules, Fireside, LFL Xavier Séguin

Heracles is modest, minimizing his role. But he was right. The plan of Hippolyte was inspired by Venus. The Argonauts have knocked up a maximum of Amazons to repopulate the colony. Then, too exhausted by the hugs, they should be caught, for the Amazons grill them on barbecue, according to their tradition of praying mantises.

Without the effectiveness of Hercules and Orpheus, the expedition would stopped here. The Argos cruiser would never left this cursed land, lacking Argonauts. And Jason himself would have grilled with others. Heracles does not draw pride, he thanks Hera to have so advised, and falls asleep in the steel sides of Argos, far from Venus and her spells. And the Argonauts of the past become astronauts of the future.

 

There is a light at the end of every tunnel … we just have to pray this is not a train.
Woody Allen