The Inner Gold

Come into yourself. God is hiding there. When I lose my center, I call on myself. I’m scolding me. But always with tenderness. Stop prowling cowardly on the surface of yourself, I told myself. You have to dig your furrow. Embed yourself in ordinary reality, humbly, here and now. This has to be your motto ever and everywhere. For at the turn of the most daily routine the miracle hides. Eternity nestles. Incandescence.

Hope can do nothing. The spirit can do anything.

I’m not talking about the mind that can only sow shit and fuck you in it. This is the other name for ego. Without the ego you would not survive. That’s a fact. With the ego you will not be reborn. Also true. The happy balance is between the two. The spirit is a wind blowing in your head. So strong that two ideas cannot combine. So violent that no reasoning can resist. So terrible that the mind is blown out of the sphere. When it blows, the spirit can undo everything and rebuild everything differently. In the moment.

We spend the first half of our life forging a strong ego, and the second half to get rid of it. (Carl Gustav Jung)

Stop not being, accept being reborn. No earthly joy compares to awakening. Awakening is therefore a joy? Yesterday you told me it was pain. It is a joy and a pain. To suffer from enjoying, to accept the pleasure, to open up in two, in ten, in a thousand. Joy of giving, pleasure of receiving. To welcome within it all the sufferings of the world. Pamper the lonely. Take down the stairs. In bulk.

Stop continuing pushed by the habit your usual path that undoes you unravel you and depresses you. Stop ceasing to act. Get back on your feet and no longer question yourself. Act because that’s all you have left. To act in the sense of pleasure, in the sense of desire, in the sense of being. Far from accessory, pleasure is no leasure

The warrior acts without waiting for the result of his action, says Castaneda. Difficult to understand, but easy to do. You are not the center of the world. It is not all owed to you. The archangels are not on the lookout while waiting for your holy will. Get off your throne, step down to the ground. Where did you screw up? You act, that’s good. Doesn’t that give the expected result? Ask yourself the right questions.

There is only one thing bad in you: you think you have eternity before you. (Carlos Castaneda)

After awakening

While changing, you feel fragile. You’ve lost your shell. Wait to get well. Outside, you expose yourself. Inside, the weather is better. Learn to walk in the shadow of your light. Frequent the soothing warmth of your pub open night and day even in times of confinement. At home, no need for a mask. Put down your basques, forget your escapades, find your axis. Be at home. Tomorrow you will know how to be you when you go out. Inside first, tomorrow outside.

With you, God is hiding. You can make him visible, let his light shine which is yours. You share his light, you share his divinity, but you are not God. Sharing a cake does not caked you. God has placed himself in you. No need for words between you two, you understand each other because you love each other. No need for rituals, forget all the myths, hunt moths, chase what irritates you, what shelters you, what leaves you. You are the way, the only way that leads to you. And God is there. Deep in the heart of yourself. Whoever you are, whatever you do, God’s here. Sometimes he shines, he sparkles. Sometimes his brilliance is scattered.

What can you do ? Approve his light. In the forest of the world, search for the clearings. In thirst for the desert, seek the river. All these places are in you. The heat and the cold. The turn and the right. The oasis and the cross. Explore. Make your choice.

Time bubbles

When I no longer trust myself, the worst happens. I pull myself together, he exhales. I waver, it gets worse. He leaves, I breathe. He comes back, I sigh … Trusting is passive. Trust is active. You act. Trusting you is the best. Nothing happens to you anymore. Engage the autopilot, stop thinking in your stupid little head, meditate, contemplate, act all at the same time. What’s coming is just what you need. Never your little face of no one could have imagined such a thing. The plans of the Living are much larger. Only those walk, in which we are nothing that cannot be replaced.

The essential is hidden. The eyes of the head only see the tip of the iceberg — and for sure I’m too generous. They only see the fly that lands on the snow that caps the tip of the iceberg. With the heart one sees much better. We are in a multidimensional multiverse. Of this multiverse our scientists only pick up one –the one we’re living in– and some of them still believe it is unique. Similarly, of these multiple dimensions we only perceive four. Three for space, one for time.

Now let me tell you this: I do not believe that time comparable to ours does exist in any other universe. And even in this one, I think the time bubbles are prisons, experiences, like our zoos. I call time bubbles areas where time is perceptible. Everywhere else we live an eternal present. At least that’s what I perceive when I’m there. And like I said, I trust myself. What other choice?


The gold within is my only home. The only reason for my songs. It does not collect dust. It is inhabited by light. I will play there for days on end. The interior gold is my cottage. My spark. My prayer. When everything is agitated around me, I know a quiet place, it is in me, I am already there.

The ocean wins me over. We get away. The coast recedes. I testify.

Witness, I awaken echoes. This is my role, reminder. Star Showman I testify. I know very well who can read me. I talk to the one who knows what I’m talking about. The others don’t have that expectation. This call doesn’t haunt them. I know who we are to perceive this great light. We will recognize each other. I’m not talking about religion, I’m talking man to man, woman to woman, heart to heart in any case. Of this great light that is in you. Believe me, don’t believe me — I am speaking to others. You will understand. Maybe write to me. Open the window. Good days coming.

The spiritual life is the awakening of our essential nature. It gives us the qualities of being so badly needed by modern man: silence, simplicity, serenity, confidence. (Karlfield graf Durkheim)

The warrior acts. Always. But he never expects results from his action.
Carlos Castaneda