Initiatory Death

Once again
I am close to death
Suddenly it all seems
Against me to band
This time I believe
My time has come
Exhausted too old
I could expect it
Nothing left to defend me
Nothing to protect me
I knew I saw it
I am lost

Dissolving the Attachment

But it was only an illusion from the attachment to matter that sours, weighs and distorts the purest intentions.

My spirit and all of myself were gone into the body of my beloved, to make her enjoy my energy, receive my healing, centering and calming talents, to welcome in her heart, her body and her mind all that I am here.

May she have the precious teaching received over seventy-five years. My childhood continues in a whispering trance. Oh the intense augur, the immense endure, so may it be nourished by all my encounters, so many elevations, this sublime legacy, inexhaustible and priceless that it is hers and benefits her forever.

She also received the illumination that made me the one I am at last, empty and complete, burning with peace, born dead always alive. Here I am, fully turned to the gift, I who have received so much; here I am, to prayer, I who have already done so much — and with what fervour! ; here I am turned towards forgiveness, me whom the thirty million Goddesses and Gods have blessed; here I am turned towards absolution, me who was filled with so many graces and blessings.

Really

Truly, absolutely, irrevocably I said goodbye to the earth, matter and life that I have loved so much and that has filled me with such a lot. Truly I have detached myself from all the old bonds that had held me for so long on Terra.

I have revisited through the menu the thirty previous lives that I had found thanks to Flornoy during my ritual of arcane XIII. I have found phases of my present life which I thought I knew well, but which still reserved a very big surprise.

So I felt clean as a new penny and widowed as a sober pup. So I was ready for the great journey.

Everything was said, played, settled, excused, cleaned up, scratched, crossed out, erased, burned, scraped, evaporated as if no atom of evil, no trace of shadow or blood had ever stained the slightest second of all my lives.

I saw them pass, exhilarating, countless, endless. I counted two thousand in the first hour. Then I stopped counting. The parade of my lives continued throughout the night.

Morning

In the morning I gave up my soul. I left this worn body, this poor bag of meat just good to throw at the dogs.

I first ascended to the north to greet the Goddess in Alcor. She blessed me with this linen and silk scarf embroidered with gold thread, which I have sworn to keep forever. But what is a vow made on the threshold of death? What is the most precious adornment when life evaporates?

Then, turning south, I took my way to the heart of the Milky Way, where is Grand Central and its major black hole, whose terrible attraction makes spin as a spinning wheel all our galaxy.

There I could not resist the Eagle.

Already

Already his powerful claws grip my etheric throat. Already the memory of my loves is fading. Already the precious gift of the Goddess is no longer, already the gold-embroidered scarf dissolves in the light and becomes ash in the flames. Already what remains of matter in me is consumed, inexorably.

I am already no more than for having perished.

And

And here I am this morning, alive, naked sitting on the top of the cliff that dominates the Guen, the White,
the great beach of abandonment where I drowned years ago, everything starts again.

Death still brings me back
to life on earth.
I live again.
Why?
Why me?

Thanks Milla

“A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. It’s control. Once he finishes his calculations, he acts. He lets go. It’s abandonment. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can force him to act against his will, or against what he has deemed best. A warrior is trained to survive, and he survives in the best way possible.” (source)Carlos Castaneda

Soul Avatars