Cope With Fear - Eden Saga

Fear is like ego. As long as you are alive, you cannot get rid of it. The ego helps us to build ourselves, and when we reach maturity, it prevents us from growing in wisdom. You cannot kill it without dying. But you have to keep it at bay so it’s not invasive. Fear is not as constant, but as long as you’re alive, you have to deal with it.

The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.
Carl Gustav Jung

Dismayed

Whatever life we lead, fear is our only hope. She accompanies us, indiscreet, sticky, all we can do is contain her. Sometimes it grieves our hearts, sometimes it serves as a doormat. We stomp on it, we feel better. Always she comes back, the bitch. She is rising from the ashes to torture us again and again. Those who are not afraid are dead.

Making friends with her would be ideal. Few people do. It’s more accessible to make allies. Since she is and will remain our faithful companion, it is better that she be useful. Those whose job is to brave death, these courageous people who seem so self-sufficient, they also know fear. Fear of dying in combat, fear of suffering, fear of being disabled, disabled.

They have no choice, they must make an ally of it. One of them told me that everyone is afraid. Fear is not our enemy. It increases the heart rate, the speed of reflexes. Don’t be afraid to be afraid. ‘Fear does not prevent death, it prevents life,‘ said Naguib Mahfouz..

Does fear help?

No, it does not prevent life any more than it prevents danger. If managed well, fear can even get you out of danger. Temerity is the state of one who fears nothing. And temerity is often akin to unconsciousness. Fear, on the other hand, gives awareness of danger. It is true that being afraid of everything and nothing is not a life. So how to contain your fear? How to master it?

“Fear is the most terrible of passions because it first makes its effects against reason; it paralyzes the heart and mind,” said Rivarol.

Fear is not a passion, but a reflex. Reason is a very bad advisor in the case of immediate danger, only sharp reflexes are useful, indispensable. Having a paralyzed heart and mind can help the body trigger saving reflexes.

Manage fear. As if to seduce fear. Make love to it. Seduce it. Latin is ducere, attract to yourself. This reminds me of a dialogue by Franquin in Le prisonnier du bouddha:
-Wow! I knew we’d find brave guys to come and save me!
-No, we didn’t find any. So we came with the creeps.

Remorse

Take fear by the skin of its neck and swallow it like a fly; then you will have fear in your belly. Fly, little fly. For Jean-Paul Sartre, flies are remorse. Through a cloud of flies expresses an intense guilt.

Sartre’s flies are not scary, they hurt. Fear doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t do any good either, usually it announces danger. I’m not afraid of danger. Is that unconsciousness? Since childhood, danger has made me my master. It gives me courage, calm and presence of mind. I deal with danger much better than stress.

A cloud of questions

Let’s take a few steps down into the dark mysteries of the human psyche. Fear, you say? What fear? The underlying, informal fear, that fear that ties your guts — just a little bit, but all the time. We don’t know where it comes from, nor what it is. What it wants, I suspect: it wants my death without remorse. It wants to destroy me in small fires. Insidious and false, she breaks me.

But where does it come from? Our human condition, I suppose. Intelligent beings who wonder what they are doing down here. And who put them there? And why? Always questions to answer questions. You don’t get out of it. Should we not care? To hit the bottom of the fetid pool to regain the surface of oneself? To laugh with others, the unconscious, the asleep?

Aren’t they happier than me in their plastic world, buried in this fake reality that has no real but the name. They don’t care. Royally. Totally. Absolutely. They collect all the money that passes by. They strangle, they starve, they murder and in the evening, in their private box, they make hot throats and laugh at their disgusting exploits as I piss on them.

They forget only one thing, they are mortal. And facing the inevitable death, they will know that they are not ready for the only journey that matters. They will see that they have screwed up in the big widths. They will understand that a shroud has no pocket, the material and the money will be of no use on the other side.

End up in hell?

We don’t give the coin to Charon so he can let us go. No escape. The Nautonier of the dead knows his business, he takes you to hell.

Is that the only reason I’m afraid? To end up in hell? I don’t care. Death is just another life. What matters to me most is this one. My here and now. To succeed in this life. Not just any way. If I don’t care about hell, I could choose to be a bad boy. Join the gang. Become a reaver. Poke the bloke. Shoot our masters. Kick the bosses out like it’s American fashion.

No way. I’m better than that. What I’m looking for is not in that direction.

Money is an illusion. To make someone suffer is to suffer for himself one day, when the insensitivity will be gone. Lack of heart does not protect from remorse that kills. Not on your life!!

The only success

What I want is clear: to become what I have been for all eternity. I’m afraid I can’t. Geeeee, here is my fear! This is my deepest fear! It is unmasked.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond any limit.
Nelson Mandela

That’s the only success I’m looking for. To be known, recognized? I don’t care. I’m too good in my stranger skin.

Don’t try to become a successful man. Try to become a valuable man.
Albert Einstein

To live happily, let’s live in hiding, my mother said. She succeeded, I must say. By me, who remembers her? Of her life? Mother, I love you. I have often said it to you, not a miser of that word. You enlightened my childhood as few mothers can.

I am not stingy, I overflows. Greed makes my veins go cold. “The plague be to greed and the greedy!” Molière, L’Avare I keep neither my money nor my talent, nor the sweet words nor the kisses.

Sacred generosity

My most precious asset, no one can take it away: generosity. Very early on I liked to give. When I read this word of Jesus, in the gospel of Thomas immediately it pleased me. “When you give, let your left hand forget what your right hand did.”

That’s exactly what I feel. Giving is my vice, which almost caused the loss of this site. My readers are not stingy either. They know how to give their affection and encouragement. They have answered my urgent calls. Eden Saga will live as long as I do, be sure.

And I hope that this site helps you to get rid of the first enemy of the warrior: fear.

Waltz-hesitation

Very recently a loyal reader sends me emails that have everything from the waltz-hesitation. Without daring to say it frankly, she would like to know more about the individual courses I give here in Erquy. I can not force her hand, it would be contrary to the sacred principle of free will, she knows and she plays it in a funny way.

Does she ignore my little talents? I read in her as if she were a book. Before continuing her reading, she must hear what awaits her.

The mysteries of Isis

This internship is actually an initiation, the one of the great mysteries of Isis. The small mysteries, I practiced for twenty years. They correspond to the arcane XIII of the Tarot of Marseilles. Cleaning of the basic engram and following engrams it has caused.

The great mysteries correspond to the arcane XVI, The Tower, which is the arcane of awakening. Jean-Claude Flornoy, my benefactor, master in tarot and inner trance, had used to say that only arcane XIII or arcane without name needed external help. Hence the work of remembrance by the deep trance that he practiced in Rochefort sur Mayenne.

Now it is the awakening that requires a boost preferably given by a nagual. Arcane XIII goes unaided. But awakening requires a solid push. Hence the work I have been doing for eight years on Erquy’s reki. Probably the best way to approach awakening, and if you are prepared enough, to know it during the course or in the days that follow.

The mind, the unconscious and the double

Don’t worry, my beautiful. Your awakening catches up with you. Wait and see, wait and see. When you get tired of getting sick, you’ll come to me. Don’t wait for your hatred to make the move. You quoted me almost word for word the quote from Nelson Mandela.

And you didn’t know it, did you say. Oh yes, You didn’t. But your unconscious knew it by heart. Since the time it is trying to short-circuit your damned mind!

Mind is another name for ego, as unconscious is another name for body. Our double incarnates himself during awakening. Now the double is connected with the body, both of them can push the ego out. And from this moment, your ego keeps steady. If you remain the impeccable warrior that awakening made you, your ego will just watch you do without raining on your parade.

…Or the havoc !

If for some reason you lack impeccability, the ego will make you … and even … Time to review your strategy. All that happens to you is willed. By whom? You ask me really? By you of course! You are responsible for everything that happens to you, it is the first rule of the warrior.

Being flawless is knowing and taking into account. Knowing is not enough. I tell you that you drive with a flat tire. You say, I know, but you keep rolling. It’s a mess. Sure that changing a tire is schmirrrr, but to throw in the scenery because you have not changed your tire, it makes pirrrr.

There are bodies in the background. And costs that scare you. Because the car does not play lotto, and ego does not play lego. The damage, he will make a cheese. Yet the mind does not suck emmental. And the unconscious is not a con sciant. Not all the time.

Fear is not so bad, come on. The worst is when you are afraid of being scared.

To meditate

There is no other obstacle in your way than those you have put yourself.

Our deepest fear

Fear, the only fear, the most powerful and difficult to overcome fear, is perfectly evoked by Nelson Mandela* in his speech, where he borrows these words from Marianne Williamson**:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves: Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

*Nelson Mandela (1918-2013) was one of the historic leaders in the struggle against the institutional political system of racial segregation (apartheid) before becoming president of the Republic of South Africa from 1994 to 1999, following the first non-segregationist national elections in the country’s history.

**Marianne Williamson, born 8 July 1952 in Houston, is an American Democratic Party member and author of personal development books and politician.

Warrior’s Diary